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Rev. Gemini T Fool

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(no subject) [Mar. 13th, 2015|04:11 pm]
Rev. Gemini T Fool
How should I feel?
Creatures lie here
Looking through the window

October 21 2013 is my quit date for drinking.
In the time since then I have: Completed the 12 steps.
Completed a re-integration program.
Had an internship.
Had a job as local IT.

And what have I accomplished.
I never leave the house. I never see my friends. I lost 99% of my 'Friends' anyways.

I have no self esteem. So self value. No plans. No goals. Even in my dreams I dream I'm stealing other peoples songs because even in my dreams I have nothing original to offer.

I waited for 6 months to see a doctor to give me pills and everything's the same.

Of a

Every where I go there I am. Except there is no me anymore. There isn't even the hope of becoming me.

This would make a great suicide note if i wasn't such a coward.

I'm writing this because I'm out of ideas. I kept this LJ as a reminder of how far I've come, and yet here I am. Worse than I was in high school.

And like everything else, this post doesn't have a point or a happy ending.
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The new years ritual [Jan. 5th, 2014|01:41 pm]
Rev. Gemini T Fool
Performed a ritual on new years to fight the shadow.
Part of the ritual was to write something we need to get rid of and burn it.
I burnt heartache.
It appears my ritual mojo is in order still because I'm feeling GREAT.
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yeah... [Oct. 19th, 2013|12:11 am]
Rev. Gemini T Fool
I've seen a world of awesome.. all I want is her.
that said I think I might be able to survive without.
How many special olympians say "fuck I wish I was with the others:.?
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Where I am (am I?) [Sep. 23rd, 2013|06:51 pm]
Rev. Gemini T Fool
[State of Mind |discontentdiscontent]
[Aural Gratification |Get Young - Dope Stars inc. ]

It recently dawned on me whole still in love I am with my Ex.
How I still want them back.
How I'd still be monogamous if asked.
This is not healthy.
So yesterday I dropped off a check for the money I owe her, plus the key to her heart.
You see she gave me a key she found, just to be cute, and said "this is the key to my heart".
I wore it on my neck until we broke up.
I still kept it.
Still guarded it.
And I returned it.
Because it's pretty damn clear that there's no future.
Even when I visit she's often texting or in another world.
She has her own future. I need to grab mine.
But it still hurts.
Giving up the key was like another great loss to me.
But it shouldn't be like that.
I should have GAINED my freedom.

Why does love hate me so much :(
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I wrote a song... [Jul. 20th, 2013|12:32 pm]
Rev. Gemini T Fool
O.k I was working on a comedy bit and since prides coming up I couldn't help but think about sexuality and such... I had a chorus pop my head and then the verses had to follow.
This is in the tune of .. well.. every Celtic drinking song ever.

FUCKERS (The musical)

The world can be a lonely place.
With labels and prejudice that divides.
There’s hate and fear, for the flavors of the queers.
Join together and push it all aside.
You see one day I realized.
That we’re all really quite the same.
Sexual preference is yes, if you like peckers or breasts
Or both, nitpickings quite insane.

So I raise my glass to the fuckers of the ass
And the cunnie, dontcha know
So go have fun ‘til the rising of the sun
On the quest for the Big O.

Well some folks like it certain ways .
And others won’t have none.
But you can bet your butt, guys want to bust a nut
And girl’s they want to have fuuun
And so what should call ourselves
When acronyms have been done
Young or old, we just want someone to hold
‘cause we’re FUCKERS, everyone .

So I raise my glass to the fuckers of the ass
And the cunnie, dontcha know
So go have fun ‘til the rising of the sun
On the quest for the Big O.

When I was a wee young lad
The preacher he would say
Sex is Sin, don’t put it in
If God wanted you naked you’d be born that way
So some wrap it up in chains of shame
Or hide away in fear
But your folks, they fucked and ain’t it our luck
If they weren’t fuckers you wouldn’t be here

I raise my glass to the fuckers of the ass
And the cunnie, dontcha know
So go have fun ‘til the rising of the sun
On the quest for the Big O.

Yeah we raise our glass to the fuckers of the ass
And the cunnie, dontcha know
And we’ll have fun ‘til the rising of the sun
On the quest for the Big O. — feeling great.
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So it begins.... [Jun. 21st, 2013|12:07 pm]
Rev. Gemini T Fool
[State of Mind |contemplativecontemplative]
[Aural Gratification |Rain of a thousand flames - Rhapsody]

You can tell a lot about a man by his eyes. Today I looked in the mirror. Something typically reserved for shaving only. I've never been a fan of myself in the mirror. Well today I looked myself in the eyes and saw something. Something I haven't seen in a very long time.

For shits and giggles I turned on I-tunes hit random and skipped to the 13th track.

Let me share it for you.
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December 21st 2012 [Dec. 20th, 2012|08:27 pm]
Rev. Gemini T Fool
[State of Mind |depresseddepressed]

Been waiting a long time for tomorrow.
Since I was kid, after having read Shadowrun.
The 5th age.
When magic returns to the world opening up all the glory and wonder that it entails.
Been waiting for this since what grade 5, I believe, was when I first got into Shadowrun.
My final dream.

Tomorrow it dies.

After tomorrow I have NOTHING to hope for other than to live until I die.
No dreams. Just a fucking box waiting for me.

I wish I was stupid. Stupid people have it so much easier. But I've always asked questions. And often I find the simplest answers..
"Why are we here?"
"Because 'FUCK YOU' that's why".
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(no subject) [Oct. 28th, 2012|03:30 am]
Rev. Gemini T Fool
So yeah.. I could have fucked pinnocio. Instead I just made sure my GF of 4-5 ONLY made out with.. everyone.
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Protests... [Mar. 20th, 2012|09:46 am]
Rev. Gemini T Fool
[State of Mind |annoyedannoyed]

Seriously, if the Tienanmen square protestor had a sign saying "Arretons la hausse" I would cheer the tank and buy the driver a beer.

I say fuck the police, if those retards block the streets again, bring out the fucking snow blowers.
They're out of the way AND they don't have to worry about the costs of tuition.
Win / Win.
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So I got bored and made a meme.... [Mar. 9th, 2012|09:44 am]
Rev. Gemini T Fool
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